a letter to my brother

Hey buddy, So today marks one year since you passed. Saying that is still strange, mostly because I donโ€™t want it to be true. I have a really hard time with this because I donโ€™t know how to properly express what I feel, I never have. But of course, you know that. You were the…

LETS GET PRACTICAL: finding a job in your 20s

LET’S GET PRACTICAL SERIES finding a job in your 20s You guys, I have been looking for a new job lately and it is taking up alllll my time and energy. I’ve been told finding a new job is itself a full time job ๐Ÿ˜ณย & I believe it. My struggle in this process has been…

Weekend Recap: one for the books

There are some weekends that take you like four days to recover from. Usually that's because you had too much to drink (which is sort of true for me in this case). More so than that, it's because I feel like every second of this weekend I was trying to be a sponge and just…

Learning Lately: thoughts on the stigma of therapy

My Instagram photos might be pretty (shout out to my Instagram husband) but my life is not seamless and well filtered. It's not filtered at all and neither is my tongue, usually. I have pain and struggles. I have to ask for help to deal with emotions I do not understand. I have been through…

Trusting God in Real Life

Since moving to Utah a year and a half ago, I have had one job: regulatory compliance. It is just as exciting as it sounds. At the beginning, it was meant to be a temporary job, but here I am still. It fit me well initially because I am obsessively organized and detailed, love research…

Learning lately: the importance of leisure time

Hobby: an activity done in oneโ€™s leisure time for pleasureย  I’ve never fully understood the idea of hobbies. I run my life off to do lists so leisure time is more of a fantasy.   When I met my husband, he had so many hobbies and I felt really lame. He snowboards, golfs, plays video…

Make new friends, but keep the old…

One is silver and the other’s gold… Anyone else remember that song from Girl Scouts? ๐Ÿ™ˆ they need to add Scouts honor emojis, for real. Anyway… When Nick & I moved across the country from Ohio to Utah, it was terrifying.  No matter what age you are, what stage of life youโ€™re in, who youโ€™re…

grief’s purpose (my process)

The past six months have been a time I can only really describe as โ€œdarkโ€. Many people postulate the stages of grief. They are different for terminally ill patients than for those who lose someone, and the most commonly known list of stages is the one terminally ill patients go through when they realize they…

grateful heart series (2)ย 

I could say I waited to do my next gratefulness post on Valentine’s Day on purpose, but that’s not true I’m just lazy. On this Valentine’s Day, I am thankful for a man who tells me “there’s no reason to be stressed” enough times for me to believe it (and be annoyed).  I’m thankful he…

the boxย 

A box was delivered to my doorstep on Monday. I was expecting it. Maybe I was even looking forward to it a little. What I was not expecting was my reaction to it.   I saw it when I pulled into my driveway and felt a pit in my stomach. Nick took it inside, asked…