thoughts of today

Every morning I wake up, get out of bed, put on pants and a sweatshirt and light a candle.

I eat yogurt and granola and I sit on the couch with a cup of coffee that will inevitably get cold before I finish it – I forget it’s sitting next to me (I do this every day). If you can finish a cup before it gets to that lukewarm-I-have-to-drink-you-now-even-though-you’re-gross state, I’m impressed and need to learn your level of focus.

That is what this week has been for me.

It was infuriating at first, having nothing to do.

And then my car was in the shop and my ability to go anywhere if I wanted to even though I know I won’t..was taken away.

Isn’t it hilariously stupid how we think we have a myriad of things to do when we can’t, and every other moment we’d rather just sit on the couch with popcorn and Netflix and ignore reality.

That’s my affliction these days.

I’ve discovered I am an extroverted introvert. I can interact with people for about 2 hours before I want a break. I’m pretty sure I can thank my dad for that.


I have this whole new city to explore and learn about and I’d much rather just sit in my basement dungeon and watch Tim Roth figure out if people are lying or not. FOR HOURS.

Today I have a car. I’m not stuck here. But here I am, on the couch with my yogurt, candles, and twenty one pilots zip up. I’m not sure if you can picture that because you’ve only see me like that in real life if you’ve lived with me or if I was your Young Life leader (sorry).


I went to a barre (ballet type) workout class last night. It was unbelievably fun.

*holds breath and swallows last drop of cold coffee*

For a minute I got nervous that I was in the wrong place because every other woman is at least thirty. I laugh at myself when that happens. Really? You’re worried what these people think of you and they don’t know you from their third cousin?

Right after this a lady turned around during plié and smiled, “I see you” she said. I giggled and smiled back.

I went to the grocery store for the first time yesterday.

The whole time I was nervous. I was scared people would know I was new and laugh at me for not knowing my way around. (who actually knows their way around a grocery store unless you’re a mother of 5 and you’re there every single day) I thought someone was going to steal my purse – I put it in my cart at first and then got freaked out when I walked away so I put it on again instead.

I sound like a paranoid idiot. Everyone is kind here. Maybe it’s all the Lie to Me I’ve been watching. I also only spent $84. For some reason I’m very proud of that…


I have an interview today.

I have just about no idea what it’ll be like, if I’m even interested in the job.

But I need somewhere to be.


Just wait. In about two weeks, I’ll post something about how I wish I could just sit on the couch all day.



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