Things I’m grateful for from 2018…
- family visiting us in Salt Lake
- new and stronger friendships built in SLC
- community in SLC – our church, our small group
- singing worship at church – this absolutely changed my life
- paid off my student loans!!
- moving back to Ohio – being able to be around all of our family for the holidays
- Nick’s new job
- my job allowing me to work remotely
- ability to afford life on one income
- two years of therapy – so much personal growth and freedom
- 365 days on one income
- loving a husband that is not working and struggling internally, what that means for him and our marriage
- created a budget and worked on sticking to it (learning self-control)
- moved back to Ohio from Utah
- working on reconnecting with Ohio friends and making new ones
Looking back over an entire year can feel overwhelming to me – what did I learn? Did I do enough? So I like to have record of what I was thinking about then and see if I did what I thought I would.
My 2018 goals post looked a little different, but I like that change over a year’s time. I just read through it again and realized something. I talked about the type of woman I want to be, the one God made me to be, and I wrote down characteristics of what I thought made a godly woman: “A few examples: gets up early, takes care of the home, spends time with Jesus every day, is good at cooking, serves joyfully, is organized, gets the laundry done in one day, has nice clothes but isn’t superficial, is fit and healthy, is gentle in spirit, gives life to those who spend time with her, is encouraging, forgives well, communicates emotions well.”
Gets up early – have been getting up before Nick most days to start work and spend time reading and praying. This has always been a struggle because I get distracted, but I’ve been working hard to make it a habit. Yay!
Is good at cooking, serves joyfully – since we’ve moved back to Ohio, I’ve loved cooking. I’ve made a meal almost every night and it genuinely hasn’t bothered me at all. I’ve actually really enjoyed it and Nick has pointed out how thankful he is for that. Yay!
Is organized – okay, I’m still working on this one, but there’s now a place for most things, so I’ll take that as a win. I’ve also placed less weight and importance on this in my life, which has given me a lot of freedom.
Gets the laundry done in one day – I’ve gotten all our laundry done in one day because we haven’t had a washer and I’ve been forced to. Which is hilarious that God did that so I’d achieve my goal.
Has nice clothes but isn’t superficial – it’s interesting that I pointed this one out last year. Why did I care about being superficial? I was probably at a point in my life where I cared a LOT about what I saw in the mirror. I still do, but this past year of one income and not a lot of spending money has taught me how unimportant those clothes really are. I struggle with finding my worth in how I appear to the world, so this one has been a huge lesson for me. I’m very grateful God taught me this.
Fit and healthy- I’ve been going to the gym 3x/week on average for 4 months and I feel and look better than I ever have in my life. I feel SO strong, I love it so much.
Is gentle in spirit, gives life to those who spend time with her, is encouraging – I’ve been told by multiple women lately that being around me and talking to me feels like free therapy. That is the best compliment I could ever receive. One of my closest friends told me “you can be really comforting when you want to be” and that really woke me up to how intentional I really can be with people and they notice. Wow!
Forgives well – mm. This is the reason for therapy for me. I still desire this, but it excites me instead of giving me an ulcer like it used to. Communicates emotions well – I’ve really been working on this with Nick. I’ve learned so much about how my emotions default to anger because it’s safe. I feel like I’ve had such a breakthrough with this awareness!
Wow. All the things I wrote down that were important characteristics to me of a godly woman, God has been growing and shaping in some way in my heart over the last year. That is so incredible. He really does know my heart and exactly what I need. He is such a loving, generous, and intimate Father. I am so blessed by these lessons and I can’t wait to see how He continues to shape me in 2019.
When I make goals, I consider two things: is it attainable/realistic and does it push me out of my comfort zone. I don’t want all of my goals to be things that seem like long shots. Some of them can be, because I always want to grow in my trust and faith in God, but the majority should be things I feel encouraged or motivated by when I read them, not discouraged and down on myself. For example – lose 3 pounds is discouraging if I end up gaining muscle mass or fat. But maintaining consistency in the gym makes me excited to go and adding a day of yoga or pilates changes things up (which I need to stay interested). I also break the goals down into specific categories so they’re more easily digestible for me. Here are the specific categories I have desire to grow in:
- External (practical)
- Internal (emotional)
- Personal growth
These are the things I’ve decided to write down and come back to throughout the year to make sure I’m on the right track.
- Home: finish furnishing apartment with pieces we’ll use for years (nightstands, sideboard, throw pillows, etc.) & be better about cleaning consistently (I suck so much at this)
- Fitness: continue going to the gym 3x/week – include yoga (with a friend) once a month to start then maybe increase to once a week
- Work: become a manager! (long shot – but I’d still love for this to happen, so I’m going to work toward it. I’ll be okay if it doesn’t though.)
- Combined goals:
- get another car!! Our Nissan is amazing, but it’s definitely getting to it’s last leg. We’ve driven it across the country twice now (!!) and the fact that it’s lasted this long is incredible. We definitely just need a commuter car now that there’s no snowy mountains to climb.
- pay off Nick’s student loans (long shot)
- save towards a house!
- Personal growth: I want to continue in therapy until I feel like I have a handle on all the negative lessons my mother taught me. That’s definitely not a very measurable goal, it’s more of a feelings-based one. But this is extremely important to me before I quit therapy and before we have children. I want to feel more comfortable talking about this experience on my blog, but this goal is to continue to grow in the direction of forgiveness.
- Marriage: read more scripture together. We’ve talked about this quite a bit, getting into reading together and studying scripture together. We struggle with this because we both have very different ways of studying scripture apart, so it’s been difficult to figure out merging that. I’m hopeful, though. So maybe this year we can try to do this once a month :).
What are your goals for the new year? Are they realistic?
Let’s be kind and gracious to ourselves this year.
You are loved just the way you are.